CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN RELATIONSHIPS(PART 1)
1)CONFLICT RESOLUTION WITHIN
How on earth can you understand someone that you just met 6months ago when you don’t even understand your personality that has been with you since birth?
Could you please stop pointing accusing fingers to your fiance/fiancee/wife/husband for a while?
Could the major problem be coming from you? Yes I know he is stubborn.Yes I know she does not listen to instructions.Yes I know he is not a caring husband.
But wait a minute,it seems you too have some scores to settle within you! Yes you!
There is this conflict that is ongoing within you for a while now:
For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want -Gal 5:17.
Have you settled this conflict?
You cannot truly and sincerely settle or resolve issues with others without settling this personal challenge.
You are made up of :Body(outer man),soul and spirit(inner man).The word ‘the flesh’ in the Bible means more than just the physical body.It encompasses an unregenerated inner man(soul and spirit) too.If truly your whole being(body,soul and spirit-#flesh) is in conflict with the Holy Spirit,have you made peace with the Holy Spirit?
Many problems in relationship start from this lack of peace with God.It is otherwise called ‘transfer of aggression’.You lose your inner peace and pour the ‘raging storm’ on others .
-Your flesh wrestles with the Spirit of God,by disobeying God,
-You get angry at God because He is asking you to do what you don’t want to do,
-You become sad and mad at Him!
-You alienate yourself from God and everything that pertains to Him…
-Then someone steps on your toes,you vent your anger on him/her.Matter becomes worse if the two of you involved in conflicts are going through the same issues internally.You hear of two ‘christians’ cursing each other and exchanging blows!
The annoying part is that the person you have conflicts with does not know about your inner conflicts with your Maker!
Man only looks at outward appearance.So men judge you by the attitude you display not knowing that your bad attitude is secondary to an inner conflict!
It takes God that sees the heart and sometimes men/women that have spiritual understanding to see you beyond the attitudes you display.
YOU CAN’T BE AT LOGGERHEADS WITH GOD AND HAVE PEACE WITHIN YOU OR WITH OTHERS!
Read this scripture about God:
He is wise in heart and mighty in strength: who hath hardened himself against him, and had peace? Job 9:4
Another translation says:
He is wise in heart, and mighty in strength: who hath hardened himself against him, and hath prospered?
Note:The word ‘prospered’ is not talking about earthly possession!
It is about the peace of God:
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus-Phil 4:7
THE FLESH is intrinsically hostile to God:
The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so.
Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God-Romans 8:7-8
The flesh despises authority or anyone who tries to tell it what to do.
So if you cannot submit to God,the Creator of Heaven and the earth.The One that can kill not just the body,but the soul and the spirit and cast everything into hell fire,how then will you not have problems with your fellow humans?
My submission to God is directly proportional to the level at which I submit to any constituted authority.
Before we start talking about how you can resolve issues with others,please settle this long-standing issues within you.
Be at peace with your Maker.Put off the old self.Put to death the deeds of the flesh:
Are you having serious relationship problems now? Is your marriage about to head towards divorce?
Are you at the verge of quitting that God-ordained relationship?
May be you should first look inward and see if all these problems are extensions of more serious conflicts within.
In the next post,I want to write specifically on unregenerated body and probably the soul.
Till then,say this prayer with me as you settle your conflicts with God:
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Stay blessed and rapturable.