THE CHALLENGES AHEAD WHEN OPPOSITES ATTRACT
Now you are finally engaged but your partner is your exact opposite:
He is an extrovert; you are an introvert.
She loves the outdoors; you hate the outdoors.
She is a snob; you are easily impressed.
He is a coward; you are brave.
He dislikes children; you are family oriented!
Opposites do attract but…
ISAAC AND REBECCA: TWO WORLDS APART !
Isaac was an introvert:
An introvert enjoys spending time alone when he is chanced to take a break.
“He went out to the field one evening to meditate”(Suwach- to meditate, muse, commune, speak, complain).
Rebecca was an extrovert:
An extrovert loves to strike up conversations even with total strangers.
Isaac was a gentleman who did not like arguments,disagreement or quarrels.He would rather stay out of problems than getting his hands burnt.
He dug 5 wells in Gen 26, people had arguments with him on 3 of them.He gently left those places for them.
“So all the wells that his father’s servants had dug in the time of his father Abraham, the Philistines stopped up, filling them with earth-Gen 26:15
Wait a minute…If you were in his shoes,what would you have done? #Scatter scatter#
Isaac was a meek man!
So Isaac moved away from there and encamped in the Valley of Gerar, where he settled… Gen 26:17
Conversely,Rebecca was witty and smart but enjoyed being mischievious and manipulative! Even when there was no problem,she used her hands to create one!
Gen 27(Read the role she played to make Jacob outsmart Esau).
CONTRASTING PERSONALITIES BECOME MORE OBVIOUS DURING MARITAL PROBLEMS/CHALLENGES
Isaac and Rebecca began the marriage journey on a good note with God arranging their paths to cross.
But there was a problem: Rebecca was barren!
The childlessness lasted for 20years:
“… and Isaac was forty years old when he married Rebekah”-Gen 25:20.
So Isaac prayed
“Isaac prayed to the LORD on behalf of his wife, because she was childless…”-Gen 25:21a
“… Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave birth to them.”-Gen 25:26b.
I pray for families going through similar problems today,that the Lord will answer you speedily in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Brethren,couples waiting on God for even 3years not to talk of 20years will tell you the impact of that on their relationship!
Contrasting personalities in the presence of major family problems like infertility,loss of job by one partner,financial constraints etc are never good combination!
Why? An introverted man will likely become a recluse during this period,he will tend to keep to himself more.He will likely avoid communicating with the wife.
The wife being an extrovert will become emotionally down because there is no one to talk to!
Isaac and Rebecca eventually got their prayers answered but those years of barrenness already made them more apart.
How? Can you tell me where it was written that Rebecca informed Isaac what God told her about the twins in her womb? She never did and maybe Isaac was too much in his own world to listen!
Lack of effective communication with her husband made Rebecca to be using human manipulations to achieve God’s promises.
When the twins were delivered,Isaac got attracted to Esau(an outdoor person) while Rebecca loved Jacob(an indoor person).
Opposites got attracted again!
” The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was content to stay at home among the tents.”Gen 25:27
That eventually set the stage for the hostilities that engulfed the family of Isaac and Rebecca.
DIFFERENCE IN PERSONALITY AND DIVORCE
Ironically,the differences in personalities attract couples together they are also major cause of divorce especially in the presence of major family challenge.
Couples should be aware that every one is unique.
Women are not the same!
Men are not the same!
Avoid generalising blindly!
When there are differences in opinion/view,couples should show understanding to each other.
The solution to misunderstanding based on our differences is not divorce! Afterall,say the truth,are those differences not what attracted you to each other in the first place?
THE WAY FORWARD
God can give you go ahead to marry someone.You can even confirm it from the most respected man of God on earth.But if you don’t apply wisdom in handling your differences,the marriage may crash!
“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established”-Pro 24:3(NIV)
” A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense.”(NLT)
” A house is built by wisdom and by understanding it is entirely put in good order.” (Aramaic Bible in Plain English).
‘House’ here is figurative of family and the whole life of an individual.
But where does God now fit in?
“Unless the LORD builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted.”-Psalm 127:1(NLT)
So,you need to involve God in building your family.
GOD BUILDS FAMILY,HE ALSO WANTS YOU TO BUILD WITH HIM! GOD CAN INITIATE YOUR COMING TOGETHER BUT YOU STILL HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES TO MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP WORK.
“For we are God’s fellow workers”- 1Cor 3:9
APPLY GOD’S WISDOM TO SETTLE YOUR DIFFERENCES
If you are an introvert,apply wisdom by meeting the need of your wife who is an extrovert: She wants to talk to you!
If you are an extrovert,apply wisdom by giving your husband time to reflect on his thoughts: He needs some privacy!
If you love sex and you want it everyday,pls calm down and be considerate to your wife.
If you are a frigid woman,your husband is not oooo.Apply wisdom by satisfying his desire.Don’t send him out to the wolves in sheep’s clothing.
“If the iron be blunt, And one do not whet the edge, Then must he put to more strength;
But wisdom is profitable to direct.”
” Remember: The duller the ax the harder the work; Use your head: The more brains, the less muscle. “(MSG).