Glory be to God for a new month and happy new month to you all.It will be a month of fulfilment of God’s purpose for our lives in Jesus’ name.Amen
I intend to continue from the last post by teaching from the first sentence of Ephesian 6:4.It is wonderful that Paul started with the DON’TS of children discipline.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”-(NLT)
HOW PARENTS PROVOKE THEIR CHILDREN TO ANGER
1)By disciplining them in anger: There is no way you will correct your child in anger that you won’t over do it.But if you control your anger,the way you will discipline the child will be different because you will be patient enough to explain the purpose of the discipline to the child.
The one who is slow to anger has great understanding, but the one who has a quick temper exalts folly. Prov 14:29(NET Bible)
People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness(NLT)
If you stay calm, you are wise, but if you have a hot temper, you only show how stupid you are.(GNT)
Disciplining in anger will always elicit anger in the child.Some claim it is better to discipline the child instantly so that the child will not do the same thing again.But do you know most times the children may not even know what they are being punished for? This is because the parents would have over reacted.Has it happened to you before that you severely punished your child only for you to discover few hours later that he was not the one who committed the offence? Maybe you just acted on your impulse and brought out the horse whip to flog the child in anger! You didn’t even ask for the details of what happened.Few hours later,you now got to know the child was innocent,but you had already provoked the child to anger because he knew he was innocent ab initio.That child may become hardened in his heart,thinking if you could beat him for not committing any crime,then he could as well disobey and receive the punishment!
In a case like this,the parents need to call the child and apologise to him for their mistake,but the painful thing is that many parents especially African parents will find it difficult to apologise to their children!#Bad parenting#
Parents, do not treat your children in such a way as to make them angry. Instead, raise them with Christian discipline and instruction.”-Ephe 6:4(GNT)
2)By continually finding fault in their children:Do you know in some homes,this is like a norm? For instance,if a child performs well in the school exam,the parents won’t appreciate or praise him,because they believe ‘it will get into his head’.Meanwhile,such child will always be reminded of all his past mistakes in the last 6months anytime he does something wrong! Please stop finding faults all the time in your children,you are provoking them to anger.Satan is called the accuser of brethren.You are not! Appreciate your children when they do well.It builds their confidence and self esteem.
Some parents have killed the self esteem of their daughters such that the latter would even say they are not fit for any man to marry ? This is because the parents are always in the habit of telling them they are worthless and misfits!
It is quite unfortunate that parents who act like this set high expectations they themselves can never attain.The children will eventually become discouraged,depressed and bitter.
“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged”-Col 3:21(KJV)
Fathers, don’t upset your children. If you are too hard to please, they might want to stop trying.(ESV)
Fathers, do not nag your children. If you are too hard to please, they may want to stop trying.(ICB)
Healthy parenting is the ability to love the child without being overly protective , be appreciative yet not over pampering and nuture without indulging the child.Also,it involves the ability to set limits for the child without being seen as rigid,hold the child accountable for his/her behaviour yet not hurting his/her self esteem and discipline the child without provoking him/her to anger.
It is not healthy parenting when you get to your house after work and your children hear the sound of your car,they all start urinating in their pants.Or they start hiding under the chair because No-nonsense Daddy is around.It is not good when your children cannot be themselves around you.However,this doesn’t mean you should not be firm when the needs arise.
The truth of the matter is that this is a very difficult balance to achieve because many of the parents were not raised this way! They just suddenly discovered they were now Daddies and Mommies and the only experience they had was the way that their own parents disciplined them.It is well…
TO BE CONTINUED…